The Sighting: Is That Yo Chick? Epilogue

This may very well be classified as "The Hater Logs", bookmark Chapter "You Know I Ain't Lyin," page number "Get the Hell Outta Here!" Most relationships, daterships, buddyships, etc. will come to an end. It is quite possible that when this end is reached, it is done peacefully. You both agree, after WW4 has been fought, to sign a treaty and go your seperate ways. This is fine with you because hey, you've began making a list of all the little annoying stuff you tolerated in the name of "that's cute." Then it happens! Soon and very soon, you see their next love interest because of course, even though they were so torn over your seperation, it took them no time to zippity doo do into anothers arms*exhale*. You were almost done with IT, and the 50 Reasons Why I'm Better Than This poster on your bedroom wall proves so. However, no situation is replete without the epilogue that the "other" significant other brings...a moment of theater indeed. Which is worse, feeling as if they've done better after you or realizing that maybe they were reaching too high when they went after you? It would be nice to get that in between feeling that says "yeah the newbie is on my level, I'm slightly ahead, but they're a good runner-up." The factitude(a fact that brings about an ATTITUDE) is, you never really get this pleasure.

However, you know how you feel everytime you try to bring a friend to the family dinner praying that your uncle doesn't end the night by cursing out everybody in the house for eating the last chicken wing? Probably more relevant, the feeling you get when you have to buy $2.00 worth of gas because that's all you have on you at the time, not that any of us really know anything about this. Let's be more safe, the feeling you get when you confidently approach that person who keeps looking your way and speak, using full name and all--middle included; and they say "who?" Yes, now you are with me. EMBARASSMENT : the state you are currently in. That's how I feel when I see the "newbie" and when you compare them the greater than sign is clearly in your face. I get perpetually tormented with the thoughts of "what was I thinking?!?!" The tailend of this joke is realizing that all of your mutual friends probably knew from the beginning, you were far more than he/she has ever been seen with before....but damn, they could've told you right!? HELL RIGHT! So if you're anything like me, you cross your legs at the ankle and stare in disbelief at the choice the one you used to crave has made and eventually, you chuckle. In the back of your mind you know, the entire time, they must've felt out of their league...helps to explain why you always managed to get the short end of the stick when all you really wanted to be was equal. Suddenly, your chuckle turns into a ticklish giggle and you shake your head and shout like u are in Jericho "I knew I was too much for them." CONJECTURE CONFIRMED. From now on, I will pay closer attention to the women a man has dated before me to get a good idea for what he likes and if I turn out to be even a smidge above that, serious feelings shall be avoided. Lesson Learned: ALWAYS CHECK REFERENCES BEFORE HIRING.

He Lies to Me

Soft pink nailpolish is see-through, just like liars. There is though, a condition to this, you must look closely enough to see what lies underneath. I don't know which was stronger, my desire to believe him because of what I felt for him or my resistance to admitting I was dealing with yet another undiagnosed and untreated, compulsive liar. He has a range of lying abilities.





Some days he would say it was a hot 97 degrees when the chill around my heart told me it was below zero. This was the type of lie that cut straight to the chest and was designed to have a long-lasting impact to live about the same length of time as the everlasting love he told me we had. I call these Intensive Care Lies...when they are uncovered, the heart always finds itself in critical condition. It's those times when you tell him you want to talk about the relationship and he offers u a renovation package so swell you pay in full that night....only to find yourself victim to the fine print that reads.."I---DIDN'T---MEAN---NONE---OF---THIS---SHIT"


Then there were other types of lies such as, "I'm in Miami" when he was really in New York...unless of course he mistook the Luau in RoRo's backyard for South Beach....possibly. Let's try the "She's just my friend" when actually she is an EX who knows his hip rotations better than you and is on secret mission to get her man back. These were the types of lies that were designed to make you paranoid. Hearing, seeing, and thinking things that dared you to say they weren't REALLY there. I call these Stalker Lies because that's exactly what you'll turn into if your battle to reason with yourself is conquered by that "I know this fool ain't playin me" chorus you hear everytime he opens his mouth *sigh*. Those two types alone should be enough to make anyone purchase a lie detector and administer test weekly. However, liars are far too creative to settle for only two ways of lying.

Thus you have the.....Reflex Lies.


This is what happens when you ask him "What channel you watchin?" and he responds "CNN" when he's really watching ESPN. These lies surface as a sideeffect of being a person who has no respect nor experience with, the truth! He just says whatever the hell he is thinking because he can and he's learned somewhere along the twisted and wiggly line of his life that no one is going to take the time to prove him wrong. He lies so much his tongue is a trigger and everytime it moves, his lips shoot untruth's. The truth is an allergen for him so he *a-choo's* lies. It's just a natural reaction. This brings us to our last and final piece a liar must clothe himself with and that is the Sin to Win Lie.




Check the scenario. You call him and you say "Wow, I haven't heard from you in awhile" He replies "I've been thinking about you, I was waiting for you to call." You blush and about 30 seconds into the conversation he says, "Hey let me call you back in a few." You hangup the phone, confused like feet with fingers, but brush it off as mere "feminine sensitivity." *insert your favorite error message here* You feel this because he has just lied to you, and why? In order to fight his way out of the corner you just backed him into. What he really means to say is either "I didn't want to talk to you" or "I've been busy" and his perfectly timed exodus is necessary to avoid further interrogation. Sin to Win lies. So there it is....these are the things that little liars are made of. Who is HE? I'm sure you'd like to know. He is my lover, my husband, my babydaddy, my boyfriend, my man, my son, my father, my brother, my uncle, my cousin, my nephew, my homeboy, my pastor, my friend. He is any man who opens his mouth to tell a lie to a woman who NEEDS to hear the truth. He Lies to Me...

P.S. I'm coming off a severe case of writer's block so pardon my rust...I promise to disinfect myself soon :).