We Need a 3rd Sex

This blog was written some years ago and it is moreso of a spoof. It is not intended for those men out there who are actually GOOD MEN! We know you exist and without you we would be forced to love the men below (God forbid). Now for the list.


**This is a working list compiled by me and two of my homegirls about the things we've encountered that cause us to be, well, SINGLE**

-Men who have a girlfriend and still kiss and hug you when their girl is not in sight...wtf
-Men who t-shirts have yellow stains under the armpit. If you cant keep your clothes clean or simply buy a new t-shirt then, you and I have two different hygiene and financial situations.
-Men who shoes curl at the toe. Unless you are a leprechaun we still dont have much in common
-Men who think asking what type of drink your drinking is the way to start a conversation...PLEASE
-Men who stare at you sexually while you are dancing. I didnt notice a pole behind me or dollar bills hanging out my pants.
-Men who have hair coming out their nose or ears. Enough said
-The last book read was Social Studies. (yes way back)
-Men who think it's cute that they once were cheaters and liars.
-Men who think being at the club every weekend is actually doing something positive.
-Men who think hanging with the "boys" is doing something positive.
-Men who think being in a fraternity is actually being productive in life
-Men who dont respect women, no matter what. -Men who dont respect themselves.
-Faithless Men -Hopeless Men
-Men who think because they went to high school with you it's an easy score! N. Please, I am grown.
-Men who call you after the sun sets. If you are interested call for lunch!


Why am I single? I'm single because the world is full of...
-Men who ask, do you have any kids as a pick up line! (what the hell is wrong with them!?)
-Men who say, where yo man at? (why? do u know him nigga!)
-Men who stare at your body parts! (out of control)
-Jerks who wink at you while their with their significant others! (sad)
- Men who think you owe them coochie because he held the freaking door open!
- Men who praise your looks all day and couldn't care less about your intelligence. (simple niggaz)
-Men so ugly, u start to wonder if you're ugly after they try to holla!
-Men who try to talk to u based on your looks! (it pretty much lets u know that he does that every time a decent looking woman passes by. i need a selective brotha) -Men with no education, no job, no hope, and no vocabulary, but stay on college campuses trying to recruit women! (i'm not even gonna comment)
-Fat, nasty, stank looking men who have the nerve to want good-looking sistas with sex appeal! (but how many fat nasty sistas do u see with denzel look alikes????)
-Men who want to be rappers! (i'm sorry to the good rappers out there. but i'm tired. if i see one more birdman jr jr)
-Men who are over 30 and wearing throw-back jerzees! (grow up for i throw up please)
-Men who have slept with more women than they can count, but expect for you to be a virgin! (dream on)
-Men who treat women like hoes and teach their daughters to be chaste. (hypocrites)
-Men who think it's unrealistic to expect absolute fidelity! (nasty dogs)
-Men who are so busy trying to control his woman, he can't even control himself. (i'm not ya child)
-Men who have multiple children by multiple women and don't see ANYTHING erroneous about it! (grow up)
-Men who talk about money all day long but ain't got one sensible idea for how to attain it! (read a book first playa)
-Men who rarely see their children. (worthless)
-Men who never want to get married but pretend their open to it! (stop lying, it ain't right)
-Men who dress like they've just stepped out of a dayum lil wayne video! (get yo own style man. who are u?)
-Men who KNOW they look good. (ain't nuttin worse)
-Men who swear they didn't marry ANY of their baby's mamas because they weren't doing anything with their lives. (all 3 of em nigga??)
-Men who sell drugs!!(u ain't clyde and i'm not bonnie. be gone!)
-Men who want to be rappers but don't have a love for words or a passion to express. (can't even talk right! what you gon rap about? oh yea, your grill?)
-Men whose idea of intimacy is sex. (can a sista get a foot rub u over-zealous mutha...)
-Men who refer to sex as something violent and painful-sounding like, "break yo back", "cut u up", "get in yo guts"... (what if i used a term, "imma crush yo nuts tonight!" or "can't wait to rip your sexy foreskin back!") *sigh*


And the list goes on:
-Men who use church as a front for picking up God-fearing women because they want to be "in the closet" whores.
-Men who date the same chick for like 20 years but swear they not in a relationship.
-Men who claim to like you way more than the other chicks they talkin to yet he treats you all the same.( -Men who list "women" as their hobby, interest, or occupation. (Grow up)
-Men who claim they don't have time for a relationship. (Then why you in my face?!?!?)
-Men who have no integrity. If you're a dog at least be honest about it.(Coward)
-Men who think that because you are attractive they need to holla at you.(Appreciate and move on, I do it all the time).
-Men who go around hitting on random women. (It still impresses you that you can get a phone number? Grow Up)
-Men who have tons of female friends.( This is code for he gets around and doesn't know how to or doesn't want to cut ties) ......................and you're right.

Any expression of your discontentment with men today results in the accusation that you must be "gay." However, what they don't know is that we realize that women present just as much DRAMA as men. So the problem is actually with people and relationships. When we learn how to relate to one another in a loving manner then it'll all come together. It's so simple....treat people the way you want to be treated. Until then, we need a third sex.

Can We Talk?

Can We Talk?
Can We Talk? I just wanna talk to you, can I just talk to you?
Listen to the sounds you make, as your voice inflates
and becomes full-grown
Filling with a hypnotic resonance so deep, I moan
Listen to your mind unwind,
the pauses you make, the breaths you take
The ins and outs, can I just...watch your mouth?
As it moves to a groove, the rhythm that is you
the pace that you keep, the beat that you beat
I imagine the taste of your tongue
as it glides from one corner to the next like the luminescent sun
Can I dance with your thoughts, wrap my arms around the innermost parts?
Move with you, stroke your back-help you relax
Gentle and soft
comforting with my eyes, letting my ears empathize
I can hear you with my heart, even your silence is a harmony of many parts
I just wanna talk to you, can I just talk to you?
I need to hear those words that penetrate my chest with a force so strong, you live me breathless
Mending, massaging, and opening my nose like the scent of a brazen red rose
My ears burn with desire, anticipating, wanting, the up's and down's of your tone The subtle inflections, the dramatic expression
of emotion coasting on passion as wild as the ocean
I close my eyes, as your sound caresses my thighs
like terry cloth rubs against moist skin, when you begin to speak,
I see rainbow colored skies and birds of an erotic, exotic kind moving by
Your melody is like jazz on a neo-soul day, tasty like caliente
soaked into fried fish and kool-aid to wash it down with
Your words go deep, deeper and even deeper, settling somewhere around the mound between my legs
You're so full, you fill me up,
the deeper you go, the more I overflow
Pour into me like springtime rain, falling hard on a barren bush
Plant your seed, water me so I can grow
I just wanna talk to you, can I just talk to you? We have so much to say.

Written By:
Me, Myself, and I

HindSight: Seeing from Behind

Looking back at your life through the lens of "what the hell was I thinking" is such an out of body experience. The foolishness you see on display cannot be you because it looks nothing like the image you've projected, but if not you, then who? Clearly, had you known then what you know now, circumstances would've been different, or so you would like to think. You become a spectator of the scenes that constitute your past as you take notes on every mistake you made and you wonder, why couldn't I see this then? Mistakes are rather crafty devices, consuming all that which you thought you knew and supplying you with a fresh batch of "you think you know but you have no idea." Why is clarity so difficult to hold....with a texture more slippery than the slopes of Colorado mountains. I concluded that at some point, in the midst of the behavior that resembles nothing that you expected yourself to do, you have learned who you really are. Life has a way of making you live what you say. It will, eventually, demand that you prove yourself. It is not enough to whisper sweet nothings of enlightened chants from an all knowing individual if you don't have the graded test to prove that you really do know what you say you do. So many things I thought I knew, life has proved to me that I really don't understand and only through the mishaps have I been able to see myself, for myself. I thought, I had it all figured out and everything(well almost everything) was the fault of others. I coined the phrase "I could be wrong but I'm probably right." Surely, with as much as I was able to recite verbally, I couldn't possibly be the one making a mistake. I can qoute everything from the Holy Bible to the Eleven Laws of God to the Tao Te Ching. Nonetheless, lip service is of a different caliber than active service. I am indeed equipped with an army of knowledge but having rhetoric as my sword has left me defeated, as the blades of talk are cheap. Being given space and time to reflect on the mess I'd made of my situation has led me to capture moments of misrepresentions that clash with the real me and the me I thought I was being. I'm not pleased with myself. Not at all happy with the contributions I made to the ending of what could've been an everlasting beginning. I see now but in the meantime, I've lost what I fought so hard for, wearing myself out, convinced I could handle the trenches. Not able to see that I had become a casualty of war having died somewhere on the battlefield. Still alive but ineffective due to my confusion and misconstrued perceptions. Deployed but mentally fixatated on the battle, unable to accept that I'm no longer beneficial to the cause. Dead to the reality, dead to every tactic I thought I knew. There is nothing worse than not being able to recognize when your moment has passed. However, when you do wake up, you are pressed to find out why you lost. The answers come but are hard to face because on the other side is a call to change along with a reflection unlike what you are used to seeing in the mirror of your egotistical self. So as I refocus and seek to map out all the gray areas that have become shades of crimson red, I desperately hope I can endure this process of transformation, as I would desire to do better next time. While I am glad to be growing and learning, I can't help but cringe from the pinch my heart feels everytime I consider how things might have gone had I been given the chance now that I had before. Then I wonder if I really even deserve to try again or if the greatest lesson to learn will be in losing what I wanted. I have no prior familiarity with regret but it seems to be the closet thing to me these days. I chose my head over my heart and now what was once two raging rivers meandering in different directions has become a steady, quiet stream of hurt and pain, running through a creek of disappointment. Hindsight is 20/20...however, it seems that in love, you only get one shot. Hopefully I'll have the courage to keep shooting, they say one day I should make it.