I HATE him

"When love is suppressed, hate takes it's place"~Havelock Ellis




Hate is a word many believe to be stronger than Love and I'm willing to bet because it speaks to the dark side of love.....the failure of love that leaves passion and lust engulfed in fury. Hate is the contraption that Love finds itself in when it is no longer lawful to be free so it becomes a prisoner locked behind walls of injustice and pain. Hate is simply love convicted of being wrong. I never use that word but right now, no other word seems to fit as neatly on the blank line between I and him. I can just hear the people reprimanding me now, "Don't say that," "unforgiveness just hurts you and not the other person," "it is better to have loved and lost than to never have loved at all," and blah blah blah......I've heard it all. I usually agree and have myself been a quoter of many of those lines but today I'm not feelin it. First of all, I don't wish anything bad on him, even though I might find some sort of humor in him walking into a brick wall. I just want him to disappear, as if no one by that name exists and no one looks like he does. Just go away, is that too much to ask? I'm not even the hating type, I tend to let things roll off my back and I choose, either you are in my life or you are not. I have never really dealt with having someone around who just completely disregards me, lies, and ignores me until it is no longer personally beneficial for them. Obviously, I don't like the way I'm treated and of course I've been mistreated before in my life but in those cases I just terminate the connection and everything is fine. For reasons yet unexplored by my mentals, I've allowed him to hang around on the outskirts of my life and it's deteriorating my interior. Oh I know what it is. The only thing in life I have EVER truly hated was a liar and the more OPEN my eyes become the more I see that every moment I sat in confusion about why what he said and what he was doing wasn't adding up was all a result of his LYING ASS!!! Just a goon who's mother and father should think less of themselves for having raised a child to have the lowest addiction on the earth and that is the addiction to lying! Yes even lower than crack, prostitution and all that filthy mess because lies hide their dirt underneath covers, some of them made from the finest linen but at the end of the day it's nothing but a snake there. How could I do anything else but hate him as he has deceived me like only the cleverest of the ill-intented does. That makes him my enemy so one MUST prepare for battle. Kill first, forgive later.

As for the "it is better to have loved and lost" crap, well I'm not sure such a major lack of reciprocity could ever be considered love although we both uttered those words to each other. What did it really mean? Absolutely nothing. What did it change? Absolutely nothing. Then the reality must be that there was Absolutely nothing to begin with. Everybody plays the fool, sometimes. So because this situation is now blanker than a blonde on jeopardy, I choose to fill in the space between I and him with the word HATE because thats the word that BEST completes the sentence. May it be done unto you as it was done unto me. Damn jerk!


Love is My Sin by William Shakespeare


Love is my sin and thy dear virtue hate,
Hate of my sin, grounded on sinful loving:
O, but with mine compare thou thine own state,
And thou shalt find it merits not reproving;
Or, if it do, not from those lips of thine,
That have profaned their scarlet ornaments
And seal'd false bonds of love as oft as mine,
Robb'd others' beds' revenues of their rents.
Be it lawful I love thee, as thou lovest those
Whom thine eyes woo as mine importune thee:
Root pity in thy heart, that when it grows
Thy pity may deserve to pitied be.
If thou dost seek to have what thou dost hide,
By self-example mayst thou be denied!